Thursday, 3 December 2015

Is liking Columbo a sign of the menopause?

There's nothing quite like a day with a four-year-old to cheer you up. Child 2 and I spent the morning having coffee with a friend,  searching for treasure in charity shops and lunch followed by a snuggle on the sofa and watching Pinocchio before collecting Child 1 from school.
Amongst all that there was even time to go and get my first injection of the drug which is giving my ovaries the winter off and inducing the menopause, hopefully temporarily. It's at this point in my life i would like a voice over from David Attenborough  , "....and now,  the ovaries bed down against the cruel winter winds, slumbering soundly until the first bulbs  flourish in Spring'.
 I've been told to expect all the symptoms (need to read up on those as I only know about hot flushes). A friend of mine asked today if they gave me any tips on how to deal with side effects . I said no but judging by everyone else who's going through it,  a subscription to Woman's Own, elasticated slacks and shopping at Edinburgh Woollen Mill were probably a good place to start.
I've not really thought about it too much  but that's mostly because Child 2 was sniffing my feet at the end of the nurse's bed, wafting her nose and telling me my feet are stinky!
I also need to clarify something from a previous post. I didn't mean to upset anyone when I mentioned I don't like people referring to it as 'our cancer'. I thought I was letting people off pretty lightly - there are whole YouTube videos on what not to say to cancer patients and really none of those bother me as I would rather people communicated than didn't out of fear of upsetting me.
I'm not sure if it's because I'm a stickler for accuracy after training as a journalist, or if it's because calling it ours brings to mind my left boob being a fake messiah in some kind of death cult suicide pact. That said if you do hear whispered tones from my cleavage best let me know.  The years haven't been kind, it's been a long time since any man has paid them a visit and one may be stuck there, calling for help.
So *looks down at feet while awkwardly scuffing toe of shoe back and forth on floor* sorry if it seemed snappy.  There's no wrong thing to say and considering I once told a completely paralysed man just to raise his hand if he needed anything,'I can't really judge.

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