In truth, this dear friend of mine is a therapist who I began seeing in the Summer, before I had my diagnosis but at a time life felt too tough to do alone. I was suffering panic attacks which are a legacy from my dad's sudden death three years ago and lonely after relocating for what became an abusive relationship. I felt hopeless and- i know other single parents who can relate- to occasional bouts of despair where you can sometimes wish the next morning doesn't come.
During this time a friend of mine recommended 'Live Life, Love Life ', a self help book by the life coach Sue Stone and after reading it I emailed Sue with my story and she was kind enough to give me a phone call to motivate me into making change.
Life felt pretty desperate in a first world problems kind of way, so I researched therapists in the area and went to visit mine, my guardian angel, a few days later.
I originally went because I thought I was going mad. For more than a year I had spent my life with someone who encouraged me to believe I was mentally ill and it had taken its toll. For weeks on end I argued my case for being mentally ill, a burden on my children and the cause of every failure. For weeks on end my dear friend reassured me I was actually quite healthy, definitely not diagnosable and eventually I came to believe it myself.
There is no greater luxury than comfort in your own head space and I am so fortunate to have had that opportunity when it arose as it's meant I can face The Cancer while being much kinder to myself.
Therapy is beautiful. It's a wonderful, giving, sharing, experience and an absolute lifesaver to me at this time. It's a place I can weep for me and my children, where I can be guided to coping strategies and positivity and life. It's a treat and my dear friend is a genuinely beautiful soul.
Dear reader, life is tough at times. Some people may judge others for seeking help . I know when I was being convinced I was bonkers I was also berated for suggesting I 'see someone'. The absolutely most healthy thing you can do as a human is reach out whether it be in Church, through therapy, with friends. Be kind to yourself, it's the greatest kindness you can give to people who love you most.