Sunday, 31 January 2016

Love in many forms

This weekend I have been wrestling with an empty nest.  Every fortnight is the same- my energy reserves have plummeted to the point of wanting an hour or two without responsibility. But 48 hours without child 1 and 2 is much, much too long. So every other weekend is restless and it's at these times I toy with taking up a hobby, mentally booking a holiday I will never go on, planning a life overhaul which won't materialise come Monday or thinking about how I must get a pet to keep me company while the girls are away. None of these options are affordable or realistic and it's at times like these I am grateful for the many wonderful people I have in my life who bring me back to base camp without it feeling like they question my judgement.  We can't afford a pet or a holiday and we don't need life to change. I just need my babies. They're like my solar energy.
In cancer news,  the chemo (touch wood) hasn't given me too many nasty side effects this round although tiredness has set in to a point it feels like i've done ten night shifts and then come home to do all nighters with an unsettled newborn.  I'm asleep behind my opened eyes and walking as far as the town centre for a look around and back  (it's five minutes away) needs some stops along the way.
I did however find some energy last night to go along to a couple of good friends birthday party -a beautiful masked ball! It was such a treat to be a grown up, be glamorous and be in great company- and it also kept me away from finding guinea pigs online to coo over!

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